A mother’s love is a reflection of God’s love – Isaiah 66:13
There was a woman who I had known for 20 years. She was a woman of God, she had strong faith, and we somehow favored a lot. I wasn’t very close to this woman, but she always had a piece of my heart because of how soft-spoken she was. Never said much but when she did, her voice spoke volume. She kept a lot of what she was going through inside because she believed that God would never put more on her than she could bear.
My favorite moment with this woman was Saturday mornings when we would get our hair done. Walking out of the salon while the wind was blowing in our hair was life to me. Then, going to the old Kmart to get hotdogs and cheese fries was even better. That’s when life seemed easy and memorable.
This woman that I had known all my life, rarely would get sick. Barely, would even catch a cold. She did a good job making sure that she was always healthy. But God had other plans for her. In 2016, she was diagnosed with cancer. She did not come out and tell me because she knew I would worry. Although there were many nights where I asked God to heal her body, I finally realized that God had already healed her.
In June 2018, her husband was diagnosed with cancer as well and in October he passed. It was a devastating moment for her, but she somehow was still managing to keep it together. I remember one morning we were having a conversation on everything that had happened and she began crying. At that moment I wanted to cry with her, but something was keeping me together to encourage her instead. I asked her, do you realize that God makes no mistake? She nodded her head and I said, “God gave you a husband that took care of you and his children until he could not anymore. He was even trying to take care of you while he was sick himself. God gave you a husband like no other and he has completed his work here on earth. Your husband was sent to you for 40 years to love and care for you like no other man would have done.” Now, at the time I thought she was going to stop crying but she cried even harder lol. Except, they were happy tears at this point. I hugged her and I told her that I loved her.
As time went on, the woman and I discovered how much we were alike. The time we spent together was the happiest moment of my life. She became my best friend. She was everything to me and I dreamed of being just like her.
In 2019, she started transitioning. I could not believe what was happening nor did I accept it, even after she passed. I still believed she was here. I could not phantom the thought of losing my mother. The love, conversations, and prayers that my mom and I shared in a year are memories that I needed to help me through our time apart. The main thing that stuck with me is when she told me I would be alone in this journey and that I needed to give my life to God because He was the only one that was going to help me through this.
I did not want to hear that at the time, but I am thankful for the words of wisdom that my mother left me with. She was a “nana” to everyone she encountered. Tomorrow, November 12, makes two years since she has been gone. I miss my mother and two years later, I have finally accepted that she is gone. I have peace knowing that her body is healed and that she will spend eternity with my earthly father and Heavenly Father.
Thank you, mama, for being the woman and mother, I needed to show me who I was and who Jesus really is.