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๐ฟ๐‘–๐‘ฃ๐‘–๐‘›๐‘” ๐‘Š๐‘–๐‘กโ„Ž ๐ผ๐‘›๐‘ ๐‘’๐‘๐‘ข๐‘Ÿ๐‘–๐‘ก๐‘–๐‘’๐‘ 

Hey family! I hope everyone is enjoying their week so far. Yesterday, which was March 2nd, was the start of Lent. For those who do not know what Lent is; Lent is the 40 day fast that leads up to Easter. Last year I did not do a good job at fasting and this is the perfect time for me to fast and get my mind back where I need it to be.


So, I have been reading "Woman Evolve" by Pastor Sarah Jakes Roberts and let me tell you, I love SJR! I have been following her for a year now and sis never misses. So far the book has me in deep thoughts about my purpose and how God will work through your past and turn it into something greater. I will update you all when I finish the book but if you want, I highly recommend purchasing it.


I wanted to talk about living with insecurities and how I am working through them. I think it was during my high school years that I really started to feel the most insecure about my body. I hated being taller than everyone in my class, my classmates would call me "big bird" and I really tried to find ways to be tough and laugh things off as if they did not bother me. I hated going shopping with my friends because they could shop at Justice or Victoria's Secret and I could not. I would always leave them stranded and sneak into stores that had plus-size clothing. I hated going out to eat with friends because I was always afraid to order exactly what I wanted. And yes, sometimes sis likes to get an appetizer and an entre with a sweet tea! But of course, hanging around certain people, I would just get a salad and water. Not that I don't like salad or water but when you're out to eat, sometimes you just don't want a salad.


I have even been called out about how crooked my smile was, how big my feet were, how big my eyes were, and the list goes on. Being a high schooler, those things hurt but I never was the type to fit in or change who I was to be like someone else. As I got older and went off to college, those insecurities turned into depression and I ate my feelings away until I gained over 30 pounds. Still, to this day my weight is something I struggle with. I would lose 50 pounds one year and the next year I would gain it all back. It just became a cycle for me and I realized I was never losing weight for myself. I did it for others because I wanted to feel "normal" (whatever that looks like).

Since we started our fast yesterday I am giving up bread, chips, and sweets. I decided to weigh myself for the first time since October and whewwwww, I was disappointed! But I did not beat myself up about it, I just know it is time to make a change. With that change will come many sacrifices, but at least this time around, I know that I am doing this for me and not someone else. The one thing I have learned is that we should not judge people by what they look like, what they wear, where they shop, what they eat, etc. Let people do them! We love calling out others for something that has nothing to do with us.


What's on the inside is what matters. Let's start digging deeper. Who am I according to God? What does God think about me? Not what society says or thinks, but God! I have been learning more and more things about myself through God and I am learning to turn those insecurities into peace and love within myself. It all starts with YOU, you have the choice of letting it upset you or you can simply choose YOURSELF, your peace, and say "Not Today Satan." People really will try and rob you of your joy but once you make up in your mind that., what's on the inside of you is bigger than man can see, no one on earth can stop you from being the amazing person that you are!

Here is a list of scriptures that I hope will help you if you are dealing with insecurities in your journey:

  1. Philippians 4:6-7

  2. Matthew 6:25

  3. 1 Samuel 16:7

  4. Song of Solomon 4:7

  5. 1 Peter 3:3-4

  6. John 14:27

  7. Proverbs 31:25-26

  8. Psalm 139:13-14

  9. Romans 12:2

Remember to give yourself grace and take the time to learn about all the beautiful things that make you, YOU.

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